Why “Blue Valentine” is so Blue…

Director: Derek Cianfrance
Writers: Derek Cianfrance, Joey Curtis, Cami Delavigne
Stars: Ryan Gosling, Michelle Williams

I have a love/hate relationship with this movie. It’s been about two months since I watched this and the emotions I felt are still haunting me to this day. I think I went through the typical stages of “grief.” First I was angry, then I was in denial…and maybe now I’m in acceptance.

The trailer does a good job showing you the sweet and carefree relationship of Dean and Cindy (Gosling and Williams). The film does a good job paralleling this sweet relationship with the one they have about five years down the road. Not sweet and not carefree. I wouldn’t even describe their relationship as “routine” or “boring.” More like poison.

As I was watching this film, I couldn’t understand how two people, who were saviours for each other at one point, could end up so harmful to each other. Love was replaced by anger, resentment, and guilt. I’m still not sure who had what between the two. It was a little ambiguous in terms of why Dean and Cindy’s relationship went south. And I think that’s what bothered me the most. I was their cheerleader. And a part of me wanted to figure out the problem and fix it so that they could be happy again. The fact that there was so resolution in this sense bothered me a lot!

I think both Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling did an amazing job as Cindy and Dean. Their performance felt so real and raw. You could debate who was the most hurtful person in the relationship but in the end, both characters had a relatable vulnerability that makes it really hard to pick out the bad guy. I just wanted things to get better and instead it got worse.

When I was ranting to a coworker about this, she asked me if I was upset with this film because I was scared it might happen to me…


I don’t understand how it could ever happen to me but I feel like Dean and Cindy probably never thought it would happen to them. I think it’s the unknown that’s a little scary in relationships. And we could get as much advice from other couples, counsellors, and books but who can ever be sure?

Where to watch: Netflix


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